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Archive for the ‘Marriage & Family’ Category

Chelsea, where ARE you?

15 Sep

You’re gonna let your mom face these hazards? Really? The mom need help, and the daughter is just egging her on, by all appearances. The daughter could put a stop to this right now. That she doesn’t is just sickening.

 
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Posted in Buffoons, Irrationality, Marriage & Family

 

We are seeing a number

25 Apr

of issues related to societal decline. One is the increased suicide rate among older Americans. But that is no surprise; making a living in the Obama economy is pretty dang tough. I know that with life insurance I am worth far more dead than alive (though I have no intention of hastening that inevitable event). And yet we need to understand that life expectancy is roughly double now compared to what it was just 100 years ago. Social Security originally worked financially because there were few that actually lived to age 65. Now this crowd goes to Florida to live and golf for decades and to Majorca and on a cruise twice each year.

We used to talk about wise old men as “graybeards.” Well, I started getting gray in my beard in my early 40s! It is amazing that we used to think of men in their 40s as “wise old men.” I mean, I am approaching 50 and my father and mother are both still alive. So are my wife’s parents.

We are seeing a real increase in “Gray Divorce.” Women hit an age where they are no longer nearly as interested in a physical relationship with their husbands and men have other options and are not biologically or emotionally ready for such a change (they are about 10 years behind). I recently had a patient that talked very forthrightly about that. He was bitter. Things have indeed changed.

One used to have to go to a seedy truck stop and risk being seen to get pornography. Only backward pervs and awkward, curious adolescents did that! Leaving a marriage relationship in any way was really NOT a viable option for an established adult male.

These days pornography is free, easy to get (perhaps unavoidable at times), incredibly diverse, and totally private. You can get it in the privacy of your own home and no one will ever know. Yes, it is a poor substitute for a good partner, but unlike a spouse, it is always willing. It takes no effort on your part and there is therefore no growth. No longer does a man have to just buy hair plugs and a sports car when he is unhappy with his marriage. We need to understand that this is relationship problem. The wife may have a job and her own source of income, as well. She can provide for herself just fine without her husband, thank you. It is NOT the world of the 1950s.

Both parties are very much involved. Both are almost always morally responsible for a “mid-life crisis.” So while one partner may indeed be culpable for stepping outside the marriage, this is a systemic problem and not one 100% due to the “crazy” behavior of the apparently offending party. The culpable person is indeed not 100% responsible for all the problems (only for his or her behavior). It is far more complex than just assigning blame to the publicly offending party. And much depends on a partner’s willingness to stay faithful. So personal characteristics are even MORE important now. Personal characteristics should be the overriding issue in any serious relationship.

 

As a child psychologist,

08 Nov

I do NOT recommend spanking. It is too easy for parents to lose control and get into things that are truly damaging. There are better way of skinning this cat, so to speak. Spanking is a very dangerous tool, and you need to be honest with yourself as to whether or not YOU are up to it.

That said, I think there is no good reason to think that spanking is always or universally bad. Like fire, there are some good usages, but it can (and often does) also get out of control and cause harm.

Here’s the general rule: Don’t inflict pain out of anger. Strategic and rare spanking with a very young child can be just fine. DON’T use another object, use your open hand on the buttocks through clothes (I’ve heard people told to use an object because it is somehow “less personal” than using your hand–I think that is just goofy and very bad advice, indeed).

Used strategically, spanking can be both effective and harmless. Used in anger, it can be a model of dyscontrol and problem behavior. I think we need to ask ourselves what we are teaching. Good spanking is all about teaching and really not about using violence to solve problems at all. Remember, the goal of ALL discipline and indeed of all parenting is teaching.

Just ask a group of people if they have ever been spanked by their parents. Yeah, not in and of itself damaging. It is just dangerous because it can be easily misused or done poorly, but that is in fact a different issue.

 

Honestly,

04 May

why marry? And it goes FAR beyond that–why even date? Even in college we are seeing a pronounced lack of dating and grossly diminished desire (on guys’ part) to get married at all. I mean, why buy the cow when you get the milk for free? Plus, you may be required to pay for that cow over and over again, even if the cow is gone.

We need to understand that there has been a dramatic shift in the culture in a single generation–in 20 years, really. Militant feminists have indeed done quite a bit of damage, but they are not the only guilty parties. Funny how traditional roles really ARE the best, eh? Yeah, they were there for a reason.

It is overweening hubris to think that this generation (and the one before it) is wiser than centuries of accumulated wisdom. The “hippies” of the ’60s were a terrible generation. And the damage they caused just keeps coming. They brought us Leftism, naked hot tub therapy, and bell bottoms. It was an ugly and stupid era all around. Unfortunately, their contaminant is still with us. The new generation would be wise to turn away.

 

According to Thomas Sowell,

31 Dec

in 1960, 22% of the Black population came from a single-parent household. That is about 100 years after slavery (a despicable practice, I agree). NOW, after all the social welfare schemes that have been put into place, it is more than 3 times that. How is that good for anyone? How is that progress? I mean, we KNOW that kids do better financially, cognitively, and in every other measurable way (as a group) when there are 2 parents.

This is a classic example of how Leftism backfires. We have materially harmed black people under the guise of helping. Please, stop trying to help! You only make things worse. Far worse.

 
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Posted in Marriage & Family

 

I guess we all knew that, but

02 Oct

marriage is in real trouble. And we need to understand that this bodes ill for our civilization. To save ourselves, we need to save the family. Abortion is truly an abomination. But this practices self is merely a marker of the breakdown of the family. Put your efforts into buttressing  the family, and the abortion issue all but dies.

 
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Posted in Marriage & Family