At his age, a birthday

cake is a freakin’ fire hazard!

It’s kinda scary. He has a smile pasted on his face, but he is holding on to the table for dear life. Holy crap, look at the smoke from that thing! And you can bet they had a fire crew there with extinguishers at the ready, just in case…

Having so many flaming candles gave the impression of one large fire atop the cake, with flames licking toward the ceiling. As birthday cakes go, it was an inferno, a firestorm, a conflagration. The fire appeared big enough to set off smoke detectors and send Secret Service agents scrambling to ensure the president’s safety. It was, in all, an amazing picture.

It’s HUGE self-own!

By now I imagine most readers have seen the photo of Joe Biden’s birthday cake, which is the greatest moment of presidential self-immolation since Jimmy Carter was attacked by a rabbit or George H.W. Bush threw up on the Japanese prime minister.

Whoever authorized the release of this photo should be fired. Immediately.