Buffoons Chumps Current Events

See, the problem

is that this is not satire, it is straight reporting. Democrats just make it difficult because what they see as serious, the rest of us see as naturally-occurring ridiculousness. It’s just hard to parody them!

“Our system is being totally overwhelmed. We are literally dying,” said New York City Mayor Eric Adams. “I’m beginning to think supporting illegal immigration — excuse me, undocumented people of migration — was a bad idea.”

… “I thought we were safe up here in Chicago because everyone knows immigrants can’t travel,” Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson said. “I thought all the gun violence might help deter them, too, but apparently they find it appealing because it reminds them of home.”

… “I don’t understand why they even came here. No one likes Oakland,” said Oakland Mayor Sheng Thao. “Being a sanctuary city was supposed to be an easy virtue signal, you know? All the glory, none of the work. But crime has never been higher!”

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