(RIP) was a marriage counselor. And he had what he called “The Hell Theory of Marriage.” It is this: People often marry Hell.
Let me explain.
I spent years in family courts working with people divorcing. In interviewing them, I often asked, Of all the people in the world, what attracted you to HER/HIM?
Often I would hear things like, Well, we always agreed and he/she was very solicitous.
The obvious next question was, So why do you want to get divorced now? The rather ironic thing was that the person would say, He/She is spineless–he/she never has a strong opinion and always depends on ME to tell them how to think!
Or, He was a “Bad boy,” but the problem now is, He has been unfaithful and ignored the needs of the family!
Or, She was always a straight arrow. But now I understand, She is unbending and rigid.
Understand well that ALL things are a composite in one. There simply IS no personal strength that is not simultaneously a weakness. MANY people can deal fine with that. But some just can’t.