Captain Obvious

The Presidency

and inviting certain politicians to go fishing. Bear with me…

Gavin Newsom: Get my hands all dirty doing THAT? Touch a worm? You’ve GOT to be kidding! I sometimes order fish at the French Laundry, but unless a Michelin chef has prepared it, it’s not like I would ever touch a fish! Makes your hands all stinky [shudder].

Donald Trump: Sure, I’ll go fishing with you! I’m the best fisherman that ever lived! You wouldn’t believe the fish I’ve caught. No one has caught bigger fish than me. Then we’ll clean up and dine at Mar-A-Lag0. It will be a treat for you such as you’ve never experienced!

Ron DeSantis: I just LOVE fishing! How ’bout I swing by and pick you up? I just got a new Range Rover and I bet it will handle the terrain getting there (NOTE: Ron has a STRONG record of unusually good driving, as well as catching fish). What time should I be there?

Tim Scott: (sitting on the bank) I’m glad we could do this. This has been my favorite spot for years! See that dark spot at about two o’clock maybe 40 yards out? That’s a hole where all the big lunkers live. Just cast in there. But wait a sec’ and I’ll put a worm on your hook as you swing around…

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